When it comes to transferring fear, I think of it in a less literal term. As I see it, a young child learns to regulate feelings between 8 months and two years of age. That is the window during which the child absorbs how the mother responds.

When a child is upset, the child needs a two-step response from the caregiver (less assume usually the mother). The young child needs to know first that you TOTALLY understand how the child feels. You need to tune into the child plus let the child know you know. THEN, you can let the child know you -- having a separate mind -- have a different point of view, which is, that it will be OK; together you will work it out.

This is important for the child's security. 1. To be taken seriously and responded to. 2. To be given a way to "contain" the feelings; if the mother REALLY knows the feeling and also knows the feeling is OK, that helps the child know the feeling is OK, not threatening.

If the mother ONLY matches the child's feelings, the child may come to believe feelings and reality are one and the same.