Yuku free message boards
Username or E-mail:
Password:
Forgot
Password?
Sign Up
Grab the Yuku app
Search:
Counseling is available with licensed therapist and airline captain Tom Bunn
Click here to follow @800_FEAR_FLY on Twitter.
Fear Of Flying
>
Fear Of Flying Forum
>
Transferring My Fear to My Children
0 Points
Search this Topic:
Remove this ad
Add Reply
New Topic
Forum Jump
Fear Of Flying Forum
Fear of Flying Tracking Forum
SOAR Extended Threads Forum
Flight Buddy Board
<< Previous Topic
Next Topic >>
Re: Transferring My Fear to My Children
Author
Comment
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
#1
[-]
Posts
: 5192
Aug 6 08 2:36 AM
Reply
Quote
More
My Recent Posts
When it comes to transferring fear, I think of it in a less literal term. As I see it, a young child learns to regulate feelings between 8 months and two years of age. That is the window during which the child absorbs how the mother responds.
When a child is upset, the child needs a two-step response from the caregiver (less assume usually the mother). The young child needs to know first that you TOTALLY understand how the child feels. You need to tune into the child plus let the child know you know. THEN, you can let the child know you -- having a separate mind -- have a different point of view, which is, that it will be OK; together you will work it out.
This is important for the child's security. 1. To be taken seriously and responded to. 2. To be given a way to "contain" the feelings; if the mother REALLY knows the feeling and also knows the feeling is OK, that helps the child know the feeling is OK, not threatening.
If the mother ONLY matches the child's feelings, the child may come to believe feelings and reality are one and the same.
<< Previous Topic
Next Topic >>
Add Reply
Forum Jump
Fear Of Flying Forum
Fear of Flying Tracking Forum
SOAR Extended Threads Forum
Flight Buddy Board
Share This
Email to Friend
del.icio.us
Digg it
Facebook
Blogger
Yahoo MyWeb
Fear Of Flying
>
Fear Of Flying Forum
>
Transferring My Fear to My Children
Click to subscribe by RSS
Click to receive E-mail notifications of replies